How to stay motivated (even when it's hard)
During a panel I was speaking on recently, the facilitator asked myself and my fellow panelists how we "keep the our fire burning" - meaning, how do we stay constantly motivated in order to run businesses, navigate natural lags in motivation, etc.
When it was my turn to answer, I shared a sort of embarrassing true fact that was not only relevant to the question, but exceptionally timely.
🎧 Episode HOW TO GET + STAY MOTIVATED on The Lead Her Show 🎧
I raised my hand inside my video-call square.
"Can I tell you something?" I asked.
(Well, I "asked" but of course this was a virtual summit, I had the floor, everybody else was on mute... so I didn't so much ask as open with a rhetorical question.)
The facilitator urged me to go on.
"This may sound outrageous to all of you, but I only recently just learned how to start an actual fire, by myself." I felt like a loser admitting it, if I'm being honest, but it was the truth. I explained:
We'd just recently moved to a new house, and... (I swear there's a really great point here, hang on...) Our old home didn't have a fireplace. My husband happens to be a bit of a pyromaniac, so any time there's a chance we'll be having a fire, inside or out, he takes on the task of doing it himself. He likes doing, it, and I like casually sauntering up to the fire pit at the exact moment it's ready, with my wine, ugg boots, and freshly cleaned marshmallow skewer. I've never really paid much attention, and I've never asked to learn how. *Shrugs*.
Well, this new house has a fireplace and a fire pit, and because it's September and somewhat chilly in North-ish Ontario, it was good weather for a fire. In fact, we're planning to use the fire place to help heat our home through the winter, so a fire will be going on a somewhat regular basis from now on.
Over the last week, I've learned how to actually start a fire myself.
Groundbreaking, I know, and I realize fire management isn't necessarily difficult.
But I didn't know how before and I now understand fire more than I ever have in the past.
A fire is more than just sticks and matches. A fire is more complicated to start than just a lighter and some newspaper.
There's a strategy to starting a good, lasting fire, with tools that are beneficial to have nearby before you start. (Ahem, if you haven't yet related this to motivation in life and business, read on.)
You need to create a healthy environment that's not only filled with the obvious fuel (the wood) but also space for the fire to thrive, and in this case I mean air.
Even though air can stifle a delicate, single flame, it's necessary for a fire to grow and build.
You must create space in the fireplace for oxygen to breathe life into the fire as it builds, otherwise it will not catch or stay lit long-term.
Then, once the fire is gaining in strength, you must keep the momentum going by stoking it regularly.
"My fire is always going," I explained, "but the flame isn't always a raging blaze."
Sometimes the flame is massive, other times it's small.
Sometimes the flame nearly goes out, though the coals are still hot and easily buildable, (so long as I notice before they've completely gone cold.)
Sometimes the fire needs a little bit of kindling; sometimes the fire needs some crumpled or torn up newspaper; sometimes the fire needs a big piece of firewood, and sometimes the fire just needs to sit untouched, to rest, and breathe, without any intervention.
It matters the quality of your fuel, too.
You can't have wet wood, or it won't catch.
You shouldn't use a coated paper; magazine pages aren't as good as dry newspaper pages.
Kindling must be a certain size and thickness, or else it won't provide the quick-lighting purpose it's designed for.
You must also use the right type of wood, or else your fire will be inefficient or ineffective. (Note that all of these things must be planned in advance, too; if you go trying to haphazardly start a fire with a magazine, fore-arm thick kindling, unseasoned or wet spruce and no ventilation, you will almost certainly not be successful.)
My husband has pre-cut hardwood kindling in a basket near the fire place, along with collected old newspaper and a lighter on top of the mantle. He has a pile of seasoned hardwood in the garage, and carries armfuls in to sit beside the kindling as logs need to be added. There is, indeed, some thought that goes into being prepared to start and maintain a fire.
So, in a long-winded fire analogy, I explained that there are a lot of pieces to the puzzle when it comes to motivation (and also, keeping a fire going.)
My motivation is always there, it's just not always a roaring blaze. And it's okay that your fire doesn't burn raging hot all the time - honour the phases of your fire.
I honour the times my motivation (/flame) is low, and pay attention to what it needs when that happens. Does it need space? Or should I intervene with a tool? It's not the same answer every time, and in order to know what it needs, I must be self-aware and mindful of how I'm feeling.
It's completely natural for a fire to ebb and flow, as it is for your motivation levels to ebb and flow. There's nothing wrong with an ebb, and there's nothing wrong with a flow. It isn't necessary for a fire to be constantly massive in order for it to provide light and warmth. It can be big or small, as long as someone is regularly checking in on its status.
So I concluded that in your life and your business, it's important to keep on top of your mood and your motivation by paying attention to what you really need. Wood, kindling, paper, air... it doesn't always need to be fired up in order to be consistent.
One more thing that beautifully relates to the fire analogy: It doesn't make sense to keep a fire burning with a massive flame 24/7. Not only is it unnecessary, but at some point - you'll probably run out of wood and the fire will then have no choice but to burn out.
How's that for an analogy? Don't let yourself burn out.
Pay attention to the size of your flame, and respect when you need different elements in order to keep the blaze going, no matter what size it is.
XO
C
